The International Boundaries Series | Book 1: Simple Affair by C.R. Misty
Chapter
1
Opening
I
sit here alone at my desk and let a gentle sigh escape my lips. I wonder how I
should start this. I could just make up a bullshit tale of love and romance and
being swept off their feet from the hands of their lover, but let us face it
that tale is told a thousand times over. I will let you take what you will with
this one, this could be a real story or very much just another made up mess. In
the end either way I will never confirm so here goes.
2014
was the year of change for me. I was making my dreams happen. I had two goals
for the New Year, one to become a published author and two to become a mother.
The first of my goals happened. The feeling of accomplishment when I published
my first book was an ultimate high. It was freeing and empowering in knowing
that I could actually do it and it was even more amazing to see that the book
was selling. As I write this, I am an author but the second of my goals is
still a work in progress. It was a hard truth to swallow. I don’t think anyone
can say that they enjoy failing and especially at something that should be easy
and natural. It was harder than I could have ever imagined. I would go through
a series of emotions, experiencing the feelings of hope, possibility and
anticipation that it could work and then the utter disappointment, sadness and
regret of getting your hopes up in the first place the moment it was known that
it didn’t work.
I
know that not everything in life comes easy and this was not the end of the
story. It was the beginning. I had no way of seeing this one coming or even
preparing for it. Everything that I thought I knew and that I loved would soon
come into question. I am not a bad person, but I believe after you read this
some of you will hate me for what I did.
My
name is Jordan Connor. I am thirty-one years old and have been married for
coming up on seven years to Josh. We have good careers, a nice house and two
cars. To everyone we lead a normal happy life. We laugh together, play
together, make love twice a week and have no major worries to throw our world
out of balance. Sure, we fight, every couple does and it would be weird if we
didn’t. As I write these words out here at my desk, it brings my life into
perspective that I have done well for myself so far. It seems like a list of
accomplishments as I re-read the words and I should be happy and thankful.
When
I married, I knew that starting a family would be difficult. Josh has had a bad
hand dealt to him in terms of health and to make a long story short he will
never father a child. At the time being a twenty-four year old that was
completely in love with her husband to be I had no problem with it. I wanted to
enjoy my twenties, focus on myself, my friends, this marriage, and concentrate
on getting myself established into a great career before even contemplating bringing
a child into the mix. The plan was at thirty, I would seek medical help in
order get pregnant.
Thirty
came and went and I never so much as tried. Back then, Josh had lost his job
and we ran out of money. It was crushing to put the plan on hold indefinitely
but we needed to wait. Therefore, in the time being I did the things that
helped cheer my spirits, I spent time with my mom and dad, spent the weekends
at camp with the extended family and did a lot of reading at the beach.
Back
then, I had been thinking about it, writing a story, why not, I thought. I had
nothing to lose, I could write a better story than the peace of garbage that is
on my bedside table that I am reading now, and so my first attempt at writing
began and this newfound hobby started a chain of events.
Chapter
2
Making
Oneself
I
spent hours downstairs in my home office writing. When away from home, if an
idea, scene, or anything that popped into my head that I thought would be great
for my book I would start a note on my smart phone and save the idea so that I
could transfer it to my document when I returned home. I finished my first
draft within months, a full length one hundred thousand plus word novel. I had
the luxury of being able to hand my work off to friends and family to proof
read and help edit. While I waited for their feedback, I started to work on the
next steps, which were learning how to publish and market this book.
I
knew nothing about marketing and I think that even today I still think I know
nothing. Marketing is a mystery to me but in knowing nothing about it and a
combination of being part naïve and part fearless, I decided to get onto social
media as a way to market myself while my novel was being proof read. I started
building my author profile by joining Twitter and creating a Facebook page.
You
must be wondering why I am telling you this. What is the point of me giving the
details into writing a book and wanting a family, and how does the social media
side come into it? I may have lost you by now. I have to chuckle at myself as I
sit here at my desk because I am certain that I have lost you or you are now
totally board with this story and are about to put it down. I ask you to read a
little further because I promise that this will link together. You need to know
this because it is important.
To
summarize all of this to bring these words back on track. I wrote a book,
published it and did all the marketing myself, so what right, so does a
thousand others if not more. Bear with me; I am going to bring this story
forward in time. I am jumping forward from November 2013 to July 2014. In that
time, I marketed myself as an author and gained thousands of followers on
social media. I would not classify myself as a social media star but I believe
that my online presence was starting to snowball and that summer I published my
book. I suppose I could pat myself on the back for all of the hard work and it
was. It was a labor of love and this hobby of mine even generated a little
extra pocket money mind you it wasn't enough to quit my day job but it was
assurance that I was on track as a budding new author and that my book was a
good start.
Did
I get you back? I am crossing my fingers here at my desk hoping so. We are only
a few pages in and this is not the end of the story either. Please read on a
little further.
Chapter
3
Sharing
July
2014 was the most nerve racking month of my life. Finally, my fertility treatment,
which also known as IUI, it stands for Intrauterine Insemination, the procedure
was happening soon. I was going in for my appointment this month. Josh and I
could not conceive and I had to resort to using donor sperm. We paid for the
procedure ahead of time, the donor picked and we shared the news with our family
and close friends. My feelings and nerves were all over the place. It was a
combination of being over the top excited, happy, nervous and ready to start
the next chapter.
Both
Josh and I drove an hour to the doctor’s office in the city on a warm July
morning to undergo the procedure. It is a simple procedure, you lie on a table
and the nurse comes in with the vial full of donor sperm. She puts it into some
sort of elongated syringe, but instead of a needle, it is a long thin tube that
goes into the uterus so that the sperm is placed as close to the egg as
possible, sounds yummy right? The procedure takes no more than fifteen minutes
and most of the time is spent just lying on the table.
To
be completely honest with you, it is an awkward procedure, you take something
as intimate as lovemaking and it is turned into an uncomfortable encounter at
the doctor’s office. I lay still on the table for moments after the nurse
removed the instruments from me. My stomach cramped a little and I was cold
with only being fully clothed from the waste up and only having a thin sheet
wrapped around my lower half. The nurse left the room for a few moments as Josh
and I waited for the time to pass before it was safe for me to get up. Josh
held my hand the entire time. My nerves were all over the place, happy, shy and
scared all at once, as I stared at the second hand of the clock making the
faint ticking sound on the wall across from the table.
We
waited two weeks for the result and I was to go back into the doctor’s office
to find out if I was pregnant. The thing is I started my period just days
before the appointment and I lost my cool and completely broke down, and with it,
I also lost that strength and spark that I had.
The
morning that I knew that it didn't work, I crept out of bed, clueless to what I
was about to discover. In that moment, I felt good, happy and I had to pee so I
headed to the washroom. As I wiped, that is when I knew. No, this can't be
happening, I sat on the toilet in shock at my unsuspecting discovery, minutes
go by and it sinks in. How could you be so stupid Jordan, I got myself excited
for nothing, nothing. A tear runs down my cheek and I can't handle it. I wasn't
prepared to be disappointed. Minutes go by and I urge myself, okay I can't just
sit here, I need to get up. I wash up and head to my room, I can't face Josh; I
can't. I crawl into my king size bed and start to sob uncontrollably, god I
wanted this so bad. What do I tell him, what do I tell my parents and his?
Josh
is an early riser and had been up and doing stuff around the house. He must
have heard that I was up and comes into the bedroom moments later, "Hey I
was waiting for you downstairs what’s..." He sees my face. "What's
wrong?"
"It
didn't work." I look up from the pillow. It is hard to breathe let alone
get the words out.
“What
do you mean; are you sure?" He takes a seat on the bed next to me.
I
whimper, "Josh it's too heavy to mistake it for something else, it didn't
work." Saying it over again doesn’t help my state and I breakdown again
and curl up into a ball.
Josh
does what any man with a heart does; he stays and holds me. "Jordan it
will happen. At least you know now and at least it never was; it would be
harder I think if you had actually lost a child." His blue eyes show
concern and regret as they look into mine and he gently rubs my back.
"I
know" is all I can say but his speech doesn't stop the tears rolling down
my face. He stays with me for a while but it is of no use.
After
some time Josh with caution in his voice eventually says. "Jordan I need
to head into work, you can either stay here, and be upset over something that
never happened or you can get dressed and make something of your day. It will
happen." He stops rubbing my shoulder and gets off the bed to get ready.
In
between sobs I say, "I know, I just need to get this out of my system and
I’ll be fine."
It
was hard in the beginning, telling my family and close friends that it had not
worked. I got the encouraging speeches; the, it will work next time speeches
etc. Hours turned to days, which turned into a couple of weeks, and I got through
it by focusing on my writing. I got back to promoting myself as an author and
getting myself in a state to try again in a month or two.
At
some point, before the weekend Mom and Dad invite me up to camp and I accept
their invitation. I could use a break, besides Josh will be working, and I would
rather not stay home alone. I look forward to seeing my mom and dad and
spending the weekend up at the river.
Chapter
4
Follow,
Copy, Paste
Saturday
morning I wake up in my mom and dad’s camper. They have one of those goose neck
trailers that has a full bedroom and bathroom equipped with a sink, shower
stall and toilet, that would rest over a truck bed and stepping down to the
main area is a living room and kitchen that tip out giving more space with its
open concept layout. I am snuggled beneath the sheets on the pull out couch.
Dad is up and is already outside. I can see him on the deck just outside my
window, and the coffee machine is on and gurgling as it is brewing, the smell
of a medium blend fills the air. I lay there in bed for a few minutes and grab
my phone to play with.
I
open up Twitter, wow more followers. For followers that I gain I send them a message
thanking them for following and providing a link to my book. This morning is no
different.
Follow,
copy, paste, follow, copy, paste is what I do in Twitter and even then I had no
idea what would become of a copy, paste of a message to a complete stranger. I
never knew that this one person would make me question everything.
I
receive a message back, "Hi there, thanks for following me back. You sure
are popular. I write too. Here are my links, here are my websites, and I am
also on Wattpad."
Wow,
this person sends a lot of messages. I politely respond, "No problem,
happy to connect with someone that has the same interests."
He
responds back, "I am so proud of my work and I hope you enjoy what I
posted on Wattpad."
Oh
boy, I check out his links, do I have time to commit to another book right now?
I sit up and I respond, "Your book sounds interesting, but I don't have
Wattpad. I’ll have to download it once I'm home."
He
responds, "Oh, how are you enjoying the weekend?"
I
sigh should I answer this. Should I be worried about what I tell this stranger?
I take a moment and look at his sites to see whom he actually is. He is an
author, he has a decent biography, seems like a nice guy. It won't hurt to
share with him a little bit more, "I am spending the weekend up at camp
with my mom and dad."
He
replies back, "Oh that must be nice, I used to live up north, not far from
you, Rochester."
He
must have seen the city where I live from my Twitter biography. I answer,
"Oh yes, I would be a few hours north of Rochester, so I see that you live
in Texas? P.S. Cowboys are yummy, just saying."
"Yep,
been here for five years, but really I'm a Yankee. I miss it, the
seasons."
I
respond, "I love warm temperatures, you are lucky to not have to deal with
snow."
"I
admit the warm weather is nice but I miss living up north."
I
answer him, "Have you seen my Twitter picture from last winter, all that
snow. I can't stand cleaning the driveway."
He
answers back, "Yes, I guess that would be the not so fun part."
I
want to wrap this up but don't want it to sound too curt. I'm hungry, I’ll
write this, "It is right around breakfast time for me, I'm going to step
away to eat. I’ll have to get Wattpad to read your work and will get to it
soon. Have a great day and thanks for the chat."
I
send the message and shortly after, he responds. "I’ll take a look at your
book too. Thank you and enjoy your weekend up at camp, Bye."
I
put my phone down not thinking anything more. Mom is now in the kitchen putting
breakfast together.
She
asks, "So were you looking at your book sales again?"
I
stretch and say, "No just sending out messages to my Twitter peeps, that's
all." I get out of the pull out bed to join her in the kitchen, putting
some bread in the toaster and make a glass of chocolate milk. The day goes by
as planned. We eat, I go for a walk with mom, come back and relax, eat lunch
then go to the beach to read, sunbathe, swim and then dinnertime arrives and
soon we are into the later hours of the night. The day was a good one and by
the next day I hate to say it, but the person that I had been talking to on
Twitter I had already forgotten his name. I forgot about the promise I made to
look at his work and download Wattpad. I forgot. I didn't mean to, it's just
with family here social media sort of takes a back seat to reality. Well, back
then it did.
Chapter
5
Rinse
and Repeat
A
week goes by and this weekend proves to be the same as the last. Josh is
working the entire weekend again and I find myself back up at camp to spend
time with my mom and dad.
I
wake all snuggled up in bed, with my parent’s Chihuahua keeping me company this
morning. I reach over for my phone that was charging on the shelf and I make
the effort to be social on my social media. There is a message in my inbox that
reads, “Hello, hope that you had a great week.”
Oh
my god, it is him, the person that I chatted with last week. I recognize his
photo and read his name, Devon Chambers, that's his name. I have to remember
him this time. It all comes flooding back. I forgot to look at his work, oh no!
He is probably going to ask.
I
answer back, "Hey, how are you?"
Devon
responds, "I am good, it's a bright sunny day where I am. Are you up at
camp this weekend?"
Wow,
he pays attention. "Yes, just spending time up at camp with Mom and
Dad."
"Oh
that must be nice. What are your plans for today?"
"I
am going to go for a walk in a bit, may jump into the hot tub and sunbathe
later, how about you?"
"I
am working on the final scene to my novel."
Oh
no, we are going there. What do I say? I make up a lie. "I have been
having problems with getting Wattpad to download. I haven't read your sample
yet but I plan to."
I
wait and he responds, "That is okay. I want to tell you something and hope
that you don't get bothered by it."
I
reply, "Ok" Is he going to comment on my own book?
"I
hope you don't think any different of me. There is a scene I am writing, it's
an intimate scene and I hope that when you read it, that it doesn’t change your
opinion of me."
What
could he be referring to; I hope he hasn’t written some really messed up stuff.
I answer, "As long as it’s nothing weird like eating each other’s poop,
I'll be ok with it. Please don't tell me that it is anything messed up." I
reply with a sad face and wait, oh god; there is a pause with his response. I
am biting my nails over here.
He
answers, "Laughing over here, no it's just a good old fashioned romp in
the hay. It's intimate and my fantasy."
I
exhale okay good this is still a normal sounding guy, I reply, “Okay, I won’t
mind it and am actually looking forward to reading it.” He has me curious now.
Let me see, can I get this Wattpad with the weak reception here at camp? I love
my phone but at the same time, I hate it because sometimes a simple download
can prove to be difficult. Sure enough, I do the search and the application
loads onto my screen, wonderful!
“Devon?”
“What’s
up?”
“I
got Wattpad to work. I am trying to find you. Are you using a pen name?"
“Yes,
try D. Chambers.”
I
find his sample, “Great, I got it.”
“Okay
wonderful. I got to grab yours too. I am on it.”
“Thanks
Devon, I’ll write a review when I am finished.”
“Okay
great, I’ll do the same, I promise.”
“Alright,
well I’m going to go start my day, talk to you later.”
“Okay
bye.”
Wow
what a nice guy. I put down my phone after looking at his profile picture; he is
pretty cute. He has short brown hair, brown eyes and a clear complexion. He is
yummy with that masculine look to him, he appears confidant which is hot in my
books. I wonder what he is like in person. Anyway, it’s not like anything would
come of it. I am married. I think he likes me, I can’t put my finger on it but
I sense something and it’s a nice feeling to know that I still have it.
The
day passes by just as last weekend, like a routine, a welcomed and loved
routine with my parents and after dinner; I share a couple of drinks with Mom
in the camper. We laugh together, talk and eventually settle down for a bit. I
pull out my phone to check Twitter as my mom fills her glass with wine from a
box. I have a new message from Devon.
“Hey,
I can’t believe the amount of growth in the amount of people following you.” I
chuckle; yes I can’t explain it either. I have thousands of followers right now
and I seem to gain between thirty and fifty per day.
I
decide, what the hell, I will respond to him, “Yes it’s funny how I have so
many. I think once you reach a thousand, something changes, well it did for me
and more people seem interested and willing to follow.”
A
few moments pass; it doesn’t surprise me because it looks as though his last
comment was sent earlier in the day.
My
mom interrupts my daydreaming. “Hey, who are you talking to Jordan?”
“Oh
just my Twitter peeps mom.”
She
laughs, “How many do you have now?”
“Over
six thousand” I smile after saying the number. Six thousand, I don’t even know
six thousand people; I may know four hundred at the most.
She
laughs, “Why do you think they are even following you?”
“Oh,
I don’t know Mom. I tweet messages every day, maybe they like what I say?”
She
laughs, “Have you ever asked them why they follow you? It’s not like you are
famous or anything.” She says this comment not in a hurting way. She is being
silly after having a few glasses of wine and I chuckle at her for saying it.
“I
haven’t, would you like me to ask them?” I stick my tongue out at her.
“Sure
Jordan.”
Devon
still hasn’t responded to my last comment, but I decide to ask him anyway
because I think he understands my personality and won’t take offence. This is
off topic, but I find with talking to people from different countries that
sometimes they don’t understand the meaning that is intended when I write to
them. I know that some take offense to conversations that were meant to be
light hearted. Anyway, back to the question. I decide that Devon is my man to
best answer.
“Hey,
I have a question for you. I am not drunk or anything, well I had a couple of
glasses of wine with my mom but I need to ask you something?” I click send.
I
look up at mom and she asks, “So what did they say?”
“Mom
I just asked the question I think they may be away from their computer at the
moment. Oh wait I have a message.”
I
jump for joy inside; there he is my Twitter guy. “Hey Jordan ask away.” He adds
a smiley face.
“My
mom and I want to know why you are following me. We just don’t understand how I
have so many followers.” I type it, oh man, if he reads this the wrong way he
may take me for being conceited. God I hope that my instincts don’t let me
down.
“Drinking
are we? I am laughing over here. Well, I followed you because you and I are
both writers; I think we have the same interests.”
I
smile at his friendly reply, okay he didn’t take it the wrong way, I look up at
my mom and say, “I got an answer.”
She
winks at me, “Do tell.”
I
read his response to her and smile, but that isn’t the end of this conversation
with Devon, he asks his own questions, “Why are you following me?”
I
had a feeling he may ask, “I followed you back for the same reasons. I try to
follow back people who follow me.”
He
explains, “I am honestly flattered that such a beautiful person like you is
following and you are popular here on Twitter.”
This
guy is smooth; I smile, “Thank you Devon, from seeing your photo you seem like
quite the catch and about the popularity, I actually don’t get a lot of people
who talk to me even though I send a message to them. A lot of them are fellow
artists and most of their tweets are just to promote their work, books and
such.”
“Why
thank you! I’m smiling over here. Yes, I get that from Twitter. I seem to be
stuck at the four hundred-follower mark and none of them really talk. You are
pretty well the only one I talk to on here.”
“Yes
me too, I get some light hearted conversations, but I have to admit that you are
the person I talk to most.”
Devon
answers, “Wow, I am so flattered. I am not taking up your time am I?”
“Not
at all, I like talking to you and I make time for the things that make me
happy.”
“You
seem like a great person inside and out, I am happy that we stumbled upon each
other.”
“Yes
me too, well I hate to cut this short, but I am with family right now so I got
to go be social. I will talk to you later.”
Devon
replies, “Okay, have a great night.”
Oh
man, I feel like a teenager crushing over this complete stranger. What the hell
is coming over me, I have to put my phone down. We have only had a few
conversations and I can’t explain it; I am starting to feel something.
Mom
starts up the conversation, “I think Dad and your uncle built a campfire, I see
some light over there. Did you want to take a walk over and see what everyone
else is doing?”
“Yes,
let’s go be social.”
The
weekend goes by and I read Devon's work. His main character is a woman. This
guy has got to be off the market. My guess is his main character is based on a
girlfriend. It has to be, she has too much spunk. I find a lot of authors
struggle with characters of the opposite sex but this guy seems to have this
girl down pat. I will need to ask him whenever we talk next. Wow, I am so glad
that I gave his book a chance and think I learned something about him with
reading the sample.
After
this weekend I don’t forget my Twitter friend’s name, Devon, sounds strong and
he has a fire in his eye, I wonder how old he is? Anyway, back to reality and I
return home from camp to Josh.
Chapter
6
Summer
This
summer has proved to be a challenging one. I haven’t seen Josh much. He is
always working, and when he is around, he is cranky, miserable and to be honest
I begin to cherish the time that I have away from him. When we are together, it
is as if he is always looking for something, anything to argue about, it could
be as small as a dish being left out that sets him up for nagging. I hate it,
dread it and sometimes wish I could just leave, step out of my life and never
return.
Sometimes
I wonder if he even loves me anymore. How can someone be so mean to a person
that he hardly sees?
Our
relationship wasn't always like this. The man I had fallen in love with was
once happy and outgoing. He was the one that would grab everyone's attention in
a room and make others smile with his silly sense of humor. He was a kid at
heart and most people when they first meet him end up liking him once they
understand his playful manor.
I
met Josh after graduating college at my first job in the technical field. I was
training for an entry-level job in technical support and he was a senior
support staff and was a mentor for all of the new hires. At first I took no
notice of him, well I did notice him because I wasn't afraid to ask for help
when I needed it but what I meant to say was at the time he was just another
tech guy in the office and I didn't think anything more.
Over
the weeks as I progressed with the job, my questions slowed as I got more
comfortable with my work but Josh's presence was still as if I was on my first
days. It wasn't long before we shared our breaks together. At first, it was
just hanging out in the office cafeteria then it turned into trips to the local
coffee shop and eventually turned into hanging out after work. First, it was at
the local bar and grill but eventually it turned into sleeping over at his
home.
Long
story short we were engaged after three months of dating and married within a
year of meeting. We were hopeless romantics and crazy about each other back
then. I wish that our relationship could take a step back in time so that I can
feel that passion that we had once more.
Now
the weeks are tiresome, we get up early, get ready for work and Josh begins the
morning ritual with a, “Would you please do this first or why did you put that
there?” It always sounds negative instead of a simple, “Good morning”.
I
can’t take it. I just grind my teeth and do what he is nagging about so that I
don't have to waste another moment with him. Almost seven years and I wonder
how much longer I can deal with this, with him. Should I deal with it? I could
leave him; I wonder sometimes what would my life be like if I left? I catch
myself asking these questions more often than not. Do I even love him anymore?
This
morning we take separate cars to work, which is to my relief. I can enjoy the
radio and the solitude. My mind starts to wonder away from Josh as I make the
commute to work along the highway. I should write a review for Devon, yes, I’m
going to on my lunch break, why not, it was a good start to his story. It turns
out it was just a sample of a few chapters, what a great tease. Maybe I should
use Wattpad as a platform for others to sample my own work.
Lunchtime
comes and I remain in the office. I write and publish a positive review to his
Wattpad sample. I wonder if Devon is notified of the review right away. I had
better send a message just to make sure he sees it and if he hates it, I can
remove it right away.
I
send him a message, “Hey Devon I finally finished reading your sample and wrote
a review on Wattpad, have a look, tell me what you think and if you don’t like
it, I can always remove it.” I wonder how often he checks his messages. Anyway,
back to the grind I suppose. My work email is almost full and I need to respond
to the correspondence. An hour or so goes by and I check my phone while I take
a break for a bit. To my joy, I see that he has responded.
"Oh
hey Jordan, thank you so much, I just saw it. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure,
what's up?"
"Would
you mind if I posted your review on my website?"
"I
don't mind, it's your review."
"Thank
you!" He replies.
I
remember his sexy, smart, and spunky female lead character and get the nerve to
ask him, "So, I have to ask, the main person in your story is she based on
your girlfriend?"
"Ha
ha no, she is just a fantasy girl that I made up; my fantasy girl. It would be
nice if my partner read my book but she just isn't interested. It’s a shame.
What about you, does your husband read your book?"
My
heart stops at his question. We have been talking now for the last couple of
weeks, flirting and well, I guess it was honest chatter, so to my
disappointment I start to talk about Josh. "No, well he started to read my
book but he couldn't keep at it and eventually put it down. It just wasn't his
kind of novel. It's too bad because I did base a couple of my characters on
him."
Devon
responds, "Yes that is a shame really. I wish mine would but you can't
force someone to do something that they don't want to do. I am so happy that
you liked my sample. I really think it’s going to be my break out novel. In the
New Year, I plan to take a trip to Victoria. That’s where I based my story. I’m
planning on going with my brother."
"I
have been there, you should visit the harbor, ride the ferries and even for me,
I'm from Canada, but the west coast feels like you are in another
country."
"How
is that?"
"Well,
where I am from it's a bilingual city, English and French but over there on the
west coast you will be the minority, there are lots of Asians."
"Oh,
ha ha ha so you are telling me it will feel like I am in China?"
"Precisely;
it is funny how you can get that feeling of being a foreigner in your own
country. I got that same feeling when I went to the United States, even though
I am exposed to American television, being there, it's an entirely different
world."
He
responds, "How so?"
I
answer, "Well for one thing; I noticed that people ride motorcycles
without helmets. That blows my mind and second you guys like your guns and
there are so many chicken joints."
Devon
answers, "Oh my god girl, you are making me laugh here at my desk!"
"What's
so funny?"
"The
chicken, you are funny girl. Smart and funny and I’m going to say it, even if
it’s out of line, you are beautiful."
My
heart flutters. "Well thank you Devon, you’re a handsome guy."
"Blushing
thanks, how old are you?"
He
is asking more questions, I smile and answer, I hope that my age doesn’t scare
him away, I have the feeling he may be younger than me, "Thirty one,
you?"
"Forty
two"
I
think I just stopped breathing; I look more closely at his photo. He doesn’t
look forty two. "Wow really, you must use some really great anti-aging
cream."
"Ah
thanks, you are too kind."
I
explain, "I would have pegged you in your twenties or early thirties."
"You
look younger also. I thought you may have been twenty four."
"Ha
ha ha no, I wish. So tell me about yourself. Do you have kids?"
"Yes
a boy, well he is twenty."
"Wow"
"Yes
I know. I had him young. What about you?"
"No
kids."
Devon
elaborates, "I love my boy but he lives with his mother."
I
ask, "Is he going to be going away to school soon?"
"Yes,
I have supported him all his life and will be supporting him until he's of age
so one more year. I love him but his mother sprung this on me. Honestly, I had
sex once with her and that did it, sorry that is probably too much
information."
With
everything that has happened over the summer, he has no idea what I have
struggled with; just the opposite of what he has gone through. I wish Josh
could father a child. I respond, "No it’s okay, I don’t mind the chat. You
must have some really good swimmers."
Devon
answers, "Yes they know how to find the egg. No problems there."
“So
how long have you been divorced? You don’t have to answer if it’s too
personal.”
“No,
it’s okay, it has been years and to be honest, she just used me. She had a baby
to get out of her parents’ house. I hate to say it but she admitted that to me
years later. I love my boy, it’s just that I hate that I felt manipulated by
his mother. Anyway, how long have you been together with your husband?"
Wow,
I read his comment that is low, to feel used by the woman who brings his son
into this world, my poor guy. I respond to him, “It is going on seven years.”
“He
is one lucky man to have someone as amazing as you. I know that I’m out of line
but you are gorgeous, smart and funny.”
“Thanks
Devon you are so kind.” I chuckle; he likes to compliment, my man from Texas. I
wonder if all southern men are like this. Wow, I can dream and I am starting to
picture myself with him.
I
sense it; and know the feelings are there by his comments, and know myself well
enough to trust my instincts. This man is into me, like really into me and in
the almost seven years that I have been married. I have never so much as thought
about another man, but things are starting to change. It makes me nervous and
the thing is I can’t turn away from it. I want to talk to Devon. We have
chemistry and it’s crazy because all of this is just through chat and I have
only seen a couple of photos of him from his websites. From the few that I have
seen the attraction is on my side too, a southern gentleman and a face that I
catch myself staring at.
I
come back to reality, okay keep talking to him. At least for a few more
minutes, “Tell me more about yourself, I read a bit of your other books and
have to ask, do you have experience with guns and combat?”
He
answers, “I was a combat helicopter pilot in the Gulf War.”
I
think I just got a little wet and I’m at work. Wow, I am talking to a truly
amazing person. Where I am from, there is no one I know that has been on the
front lines like him and a helicopter pilot, oh boy.
I
answer him, “I have never known anyone like you and it’s just crazy to think
that you were out there. I can be a little bit of a brat but those positions,
combat pilots and serving your country, you see in movies you come to think
that those jobs aren’t real.”
“Oh
they are real; I started off with fueling them up and then went through the
training and ended up flying them for four years. I served twenty nine days in
air combat.”
“I
have always told others that if I ever won millions I would buy myself a
helicopter and a tropical island. Now that I know you have experience maybe you
could be my helicopter pilot.”
“I
would and would love to visit your tropical Island. You have no idea, I would
be there.” He answers.
I
smile, what a flirt, wow he knows how to win this girls heart; okay I should
wrap this up. I feel a smile on my face and god I am at work. “Devon, I am
going to have to drop off for now, I got to get back to the grind. So happy to
talk, you made my day.”
“Ditto,
okay talk to you later.”
I
am just smitten. This guy, I hardly know him and there is something. I am all
smiles for the rest of the day thinking about this man. I know that I shouldn’t
be but who cares. As long as it’s my secret it won’t hurt anyone.
For
the rest of the day I can't stop thinking about Devon. I am curious about him
and now I am crushing hard for him. He keeps me company even though it's just
through a virtual world and not real life. Wow, I wish he were mine. Maybe I
could trade in my husband for this southern man. I have to stop thinking about
it. This is so unrealistic. The rest of the day floats by and I am in my daydreams
wondering. The evening proves to be another lonely one of doing some housework
and a bit of writing. Josh is working late again tonight.
Chapter
7
What
it became
I'm
not sure when things took a change but over the course of the summer this
person, Devon and I, went from communicating and having chats on a weekly basis
to talking pretty well every day. The things that I learn about him, he had a
military background and at one point in his life, he was even a bodyguard for a
high profile public figure. This man is captivating to me and his story is like
no other that I have ever known.
Devon
was born and raised in the United States. He lived in Rochester until his
parents divorced and then he moved around and eventually settled in Texas. He
has one biological brother whom he is close to and several step siblings from
his parents remarrying. His mother raised them from a young age after his
parents divorce. His father was a cop and was hardly around. When Devon was of age,
he enlisted in the army where he learned how to fly combat helicopters and
served in the Gulf War. He explained that he hadn't seen death but was sure
that the munitions from the helicopter killed enemy and explained that out
there you don't hesitate, its kill or be killed. I don't see a mean streak in
him even though he has quite the resume. Without reading his books and asking
questions, I would have never gotten the feeling that he had been involved in
life changing events. For today he is a father, a spouse, he found another love
after the divorce from his son's mother, and he is a writer and works in the
high tech field, a polar opposite life to that of army and bodyguard work.
He
is an accomplished writer and a modest man. I remember those early conversations
about his books. Devon first made it out to sound like he was an aspiring
author but after doing a little digging and him opening up with our
conversations I discovered that he has been writing for years. He has received
awards for his work, local newspaper articles were written about him. He has
done book signings at bookstores. He even has merchandise for his fan base.
He
has yet to strike it huge like the success that mainstream authors reach, but I
can see that he is on his way. I would have never known and that saying,
"never judge a book by its cover", that is Devon. He has never
boasted of himself. To me he is a kind, supportive friend. He isn’t fake or
trying to gain something from our writing connection. He is just Devon, my
friend, champion and secret.
The
thing that hurts is our realities, he has a spouse and so do I...
That
is the barrier, besides the distance. I used to judge others for their
marriages falling apart. When you find out that one was cheating and what not.
I would wonder how could they when they have someone who loves them. How do these
married people seem to find second lovers when some people remain single their
entire lives? Well I now see how. Devon and I were perfect strangers who
stumbled upon each other based on like interests. This was completely by
accident, please don’t judge me and let me explain. We both write and something
that started with honest talking and interaction, soon finds chemistry and
attraction and then it snowballs. I know at this point that he isn't an online
predator or anything weird like that. The reason that I know this is he has
opened up more to me by becoming a Facebook friend. I can see into his life,
and view his friends and family and he can do the same with me. He is just a
normal man, with a family and network of friends and family and I am a normal
woman with her own network of family and friends, we weren’t seeking this.
Now
we know each other's schedules, home addresses, where the other works and what
we like and dislike. We are starting to know each other on a personal and more
intimate level. This is how it happens and I have a husband but right now, my
heart wants another, desires another. I can't get Devon out of my head. This is
how cheaters become who they are and for me this was not intentional, it just
happened. I want him.
Comments
Post a Comment